Akatsuki Time!
by TheAkAtSuKiKid
Summary: Itachi and Deidara both have daughters, Shadow and Aya both toddlers, Aya is 4 and Shadow is 2 and a half. Watch as these S-Ranked criminal's trying to be fathers while living with the Akatsuki, but things never quiet go to plan with the Akatsuki!
1. Kisame's Kitchen project

Kisame's Kitchen Project - Sorry I did the chapter tittle wrong ^^ Woops

Kisame walked over into the kitchen area dodging all the empty cans, tins, packets and cloths that had been thrown all over the place. Slowly but surely he made it to the fridge, opened it up only to make a pile up off stuff from the doors path. Kisame's eye's instantly watered ,dazed. Even for a shark this was too fishy.

"Arrrg!" Exclaimed Kisame wafting in front of his face as he walked back making him slip on a banana skin that was just lying around and he landed on the floor in a heap cause both kids that s were playing together on the floor near by heads to shot up. Kisame swiftly stood up and cursed at the damned banana forgetting about the two toddlers behind him. He looked back into the fridge this time prepared holding his nose he saw milk that was so off that it was probably solid, cheese that looked like it needed shearing just to get all the fur off it also there was a curry in there from six weeks ago that no bothered to eat the next day in which Kakuzu said that since he paid for it it wasn't allowed to be thrown away until someone had finished it. The Kitchen around was a total mess with things thrown anywhere there was even a kuni sticking in the floor from when Sasori had threatened Deidara for walking into his room without knocking when he was changing puppets.

Just then Konan walked in the room and raised an eyebrow at Kisame.

"What?" Asked Kisame as Konan sat on the sofa and turned on the Tv.

"You have a chocolate wrapper in your hair" Said Konan monotonly not taking her eyes off the Tv, Kisame looked up into his hair only to see the edge of a chocolate wrapper sticking out reaching and pulling it out and reading the name 'Oreo's'.

"But the only person to ever eat Orea's was Orchimaru" Thought Kisame out loud only for it to click a second later that Orchimaru had actually touched the wrapper and threw it back on the ground and shuddered.

"That's it!" Exclaimed Kisame slamming his fist onto the counter making a few things bounce up. Also making the kids jump at the Kisame's sudden outburst.

"What the matter?" Questioned Konan looking over her shoulder.

"This kitchen need cleaning and new food putting in the fridge!" replied Kisame then he continued "I mean the milk been here so long it's turned solid even Orchimaru's damned Oreo wrappers are still here plus there's a knife sticking out the ground and I'm not sure about you but I don't want to face the wrath of Deidara if Aya ever got hurt plus is if it was Shadow, Itachi would just kill us on the spot!" Konan nodded as well.

"Your right, plus the place does need a good clean and we can't keep living off take away's now that there are kids here but I don't think anyone's gonna clean it with it being ordered by Pein" Said Konan who was now looking at the mess that the kitchen was in. Kisame smirked at Konan.

"God job you're goo friends with him them isn't it" Smirked Kisame as Konan got the message.

Two days later the Akatsuki had been gathered together, they were all sat in the living room. Shadow was sat on her father's lap and Aya was sat next to Deirara. Pein was stood in front of the TV while the rest were waiting to hear what he was going to say. The Akaktsuki hardly ever got together like this so it must be important was the thought that went thought most of the Akatsuki's minds. While Kisame just sat there smirking getting a knowing nod form Konan.

"It has been a while since we have all got together like this-" Started Pein only to get cut off but a very inpatient Hidan.

"Just cut to the chase, will ya!" Shouted Hidan only to receive a death glare from Pein.

"Hidan be patient and shut up and him finnish" scolded Kakuzu at his partner. Pein cleared his throat getting everyone's attentions back.

"As I was saying *Glaring at Hidan* I've been informed that the kitchen area is in a terrible state there a things thrown everywhere, food so out of date it could have mutated for all we know even wrappers from Orochimaru's Oreo collection" Pein said sending a shiver down all the Akatsuki's members back when he said Orochimaru's Oreo collection.

"And since we have young childer here we can not go living off take aways and boxed meals. So everyone new mission is to clean up and refood the fridge" Finished Pein. Only to receive silence to be honest Pein didn't know what to expect he was asking a group of S-ranked criminals to clean a dirty kitchen and go shopping but either way it had to be done since Konan had demanded that he got it sorted out.

"Ok a half of you will going shopping for food while the rest of you will be staying here to clean things up. Ok over to Konan for the groups" Said Pein handing over the group of stunned criminals to Konan who swapped places with Pein.

"Ok going to the shops will be Itachi plus Shadow ,Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu also take Toby with you" Said Konan pointing over to Toby sat crossed legged on the carpet like a child .

"But you mean-" Started Hidan but was cut off by Konan.

"No but's the team stand and no swapping" Said Konan in a firm voice like she was talking to a bunch of kids, while casting a glance at Hidan meaning it apply's to him mostly.

"Ok now that cleared up the rest are staying to help clean up the kitchen" Said Konan.

The Akatsuki finally did as they were told and Itachi and the rest were now stood outside of the supermarket. Itachi went up the trolley and put shadow into the little pull out seat and started pushing the trolley and the group entered the shop. Toby bounce up next to the trolley.

"You're so lucky Shadow you get to sit in the seat and don't have to walk around the shop!" Exclaimed Toby to Shadow while emphasising the words whole shop with his hands.

"That's because she only two and not a adults" Said Kakuzu as they went down the isles while Kisame started putting things in the trolls that Konan had put on the list with Hidan looking at everyone thinking who he might use as his next victims.

Everything was running smoothly...Well as smooth as you can get with the Akatsuki until they got to the row that had all the sweets in.

"Hey Itachi can we get some sweet please!" Begged Toby hugging Itachi's leg. Itachi thought Toby off his leg.

"Stop acting like a child" Hissed Itachi at Tobi who started crying and having a tantrum on the floor. Shadow also asked if she could walk for a bit then started squirming around in the chair. Kisame was stood over at the fish counter crying saying something about family member and Hidan had gone off trying to convert people to Jashin while Kakuzu was nowhere to be found.

"Hey that's my money!" Shouted a man from a couple of rows down. 'Great just great' Thought Itachi.

Back at base things weren't running to smoothly either.

Zetzu who was support to be cleaning out the fridge was now throwing up in the sink because he eat the curry that had been in there, Deidara and Sasori were arguing over Art again which made Aya cry in a corner because her daddy was shouting and fighting, Pein had fallen over and nearly cut open half his leg off after slipping on another banana skin and fell on the kuni that was sticking out and was now lying down on the sofa resting his leg , so Konan was left to do it on her all by herself.

"I hope Itachi ans his group is having more luck" Said Konan to herself as she started picking up the cloth to start moping up all of Peins blood of the floor while dodging Zetzu sick. Sasori and Deidara had not started to get in to a fist fight it wouldn't take long until things started to blow up. Boom wait I spoke to soon. Little Aya was still curled up in the corner, she didn't like the loud noises.

Konan sighed wanting to get out of here before Deidara blew up the whole Kitchen. She put down the cloth and went over and picked up Aya comforting her while letting Pein lean on her shoulder and he hobbled out with Konan and Aya, leaving Deidara and Sasori to fight and Zetzu to throw up.

Two hours Later with Itachi.

Itachi sighed these were grown men and S-ranked criminals and they can't go shopping with making a mess. The best behaved was Shadow who was now asleep and she was only 2. But they had finally managed to ge out of the shopping store but not with what they needed. The trolley was full of sweet, chocolate and fish. Itachi finally gave into Toby and let him have a 'few' sweets then Kisame said he wanted to be the one to bury them and brought the hole fish counter, Shadow had fell asleep with a toffee lolly in here mouth. Kakuzu was having a mardy because he had to pay for everything and wasn't talking to anyone and Hidan was also upset because no one wanted to be a sacrifice while Toby was bouncing around because he was hyped up on candy.

Itachi opened up the door to the base and walked down the Hall with Shadow in one hand and fish and candy in the other only to be stopped by Konan running down the hall.

"Don't go in there!" Shouted Konan skidding in front of the door that Itachi was about to open. Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?" Questioned Itachi only to be answered by a large explosion coming from the other side of the door.

"What happening?" Itachi questioned again only to get a sigh from Konan.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you later and did you get everything?" Questioned Konan this time it was Itachi's time to sigh and handed a bag over to Konan who looked over in and raised an eyebrow.

"Candy and Fish?" Asked Konan, Itachi repositioned Shadow in his arm.

"It's a long story also" replied Itachi following Konan who started to walk to the spare living room.

Two Weeks Later.

Everything had been sorted out making everyone happy...Well almost everyone. Pein's leg had healed, Zetzu had stopped throwing up. Sasori and Deidara stopped fighting and they both got scolded by Konan for scaring Aya especially Deidara, Kisame bury most of the fish that Zetzu didn't eat. Tobi was only allowed one piece of candy a day.

And the Kitchen well they decided that they couldn't do it themselves and got themselves a maid that did the cleaning,cooking and went to the shops sometime with Konan and gave Tobi his candy the only person that wasn't happy was Kakuzu was because he had to pay her and for the food.

Kisame, Konan and Itachi with Shadow was in the Akatsuki living room. Konan and Kisame were watching Tv while Itachi was watching Shadow colour in a colouring in book on the floor. Shadow turned to Itachi.

"Daddy?" Said Shadow looking up at her dad.

"Yes Shadow?" Asked Itachi.

"What doesn Damn and twat's mean" Questioned Shadow shocking all three members in the room mostly Itachi.

"Shadow where did you here that?" Questioned Itachi a killing intent radiating of him.

"Uncle Kisame said it when he was in the kitchen and fell on a banana" Said Shadow remember two weeks ago sat there playing with Aya when Kisame went into the kitchen. Itachi sent a death glare over to Kisame who paled and scratched the back of his head.

"Kisame" Said Itachi venomously his eyes turning Shirgan and started spinning.

Lets just say Kisame wasn't seen after that and the Akatsuki started to eat a lot of fish fingers.


	2. Bed time disaster!

Author's Note - I had already done this one so the next update might be much later depending how long it takes me to Finnish the other Naruto things also thank god this thing has spell checker or I'd be screwed. Anyway enjoy ^^

It was about three O'clock in the Akatsuki lair and Itachi and Deidara were making plans, no not the plans to get the jinjuriki or anything like that they were planning on how they were going to get their duaghters to bed on time. because as we all know nothing ever goes to plan in the Akatsuki and both kids hated going to sleep. Shadow hated having to stay in bed she liked to move around and Aya she didn't like to separated from her dad and starts crying.

"How about we get them in their pajamas early, like in an hour or so then it'll be time for dinner and after they can watch a movie then they'll basically be asleep." Said Deidara looking over to the carpet where Aya and Shadow was playing with cars.

"That sounds like a good idea, wow I'm impressed since that came from you" Mocked Itachi who also gave a quick glance over at the two toddlers playing, Shadow had decided that her car could now fly and was running around with it all around the room.

"So one hour then but which movie did are they going to watch?" Questioned Itachi watching Shadow as she ran out into the hallway.

"Shadow back in living room" Said Itachi and Shadow ran back in again.

"I'll go and have a look which Dvds we got ok" Said Deidara getting up and while Itachi nodded in reply. Deidara walked open to the cabinet, opened it and crouched down and started taking out Dvds.

"Saw III" Said Deidara reading the titles

"No" Said Itachi, Deidara put the Dvd down

" I am alone, whats that about?"

"Zombies attacking, so no"

"Silent hill"

"No"

"Woman in black"

"No...Is all we own is horror films?"

"Hey what about this one...My sister's keeper"

"It's a love thing that make all the girl cry...must be Konan's"

"So that's a no"

"Yes"

"Yes?"

"No"

"Hu?"

"Yes they can't watch it...they'd get bored with it anyway"

"Ow you confused me for a second"

"I noticed"

"Anyway whats next...Amircan Pie"

"No"

"Why not ...It doesn't look like a horror to me"

"Read the back..." Deidara turns the Dvd over and starts reading

"Four teenage boys enter a pact to lose their virginity by prom night...Arrrhhh Maybe not"

"Hn"

"Next is -"

"I don't even wanna know"

"I haven't even said whats it's called yet"

"But we haven't got anywhere and it's quarter past three now and we haven't got anywhere" Just as Itachi said that Luna there made came in (*Yes they have a maid for reason from what happened in the Kitchen and also shopping and went to the fridge and opened it and pulled out some meat and vegetable and started to chop them up.

"Hey Luna what's for dinner today?" Questioned Deidara still crouched looking at the Dvd's. Itachi was watching the kids while Luna was chopping up the vegetables.

"Well Deidara-sama were having Sunday roast and for pudding strawberry trifle" Said Luna while washing the chopped vegetables.

"Ummmm sounds nice. Hey how about The God father III, it looks good to me" Said Deidara looking at the Dvd in interest. Itahci sighed

"No. It might look good for you but were not looking for you are we" Said Itachi monotonly, Deidara sighed.

"At least I tried and didn't just sit there shooting down ever idea" Argued at Itachi who sat there unaffected.

"Yes because if we'd go with your idea's they'd never go to sleep again" Countered Itachi, Deidara sighed you could never with an argument with a Uchiha never mind Itachi.

"Urrmmm Itachi-Sama, Deidara-Sama, I hope you don't mind me asking but what are you trying to find?" Asked Luna after she'd just finished putting the meat into cook. Deidara waved off her worries about asking.

"Me and Itachi are trying to find a movie that Aya and Shadow could watch before they go to bed but there isn't a suitable enough film in here" Said Deidara as flying car hit him on the head making him jerk up, only to see Shadow run and collect it. Deidara sighed again. He and Itachi seemed to be doing that a lot lately must be what parenting like.

"Shadow don't throw the car's or I'll take them off you " Warned Itachi to Shadow who seemed to take the warning and went and sat back down again next to Aya who was driving the cars around a little track.

"You should have asked Deidara-sama, my little brother has grown out of his little Dvd's and wanted me to sell some but I'll just give him some of my money, there not all appropriate for them two but I thinks there's a couple that they might like, just let me go get it. Could you watch the food for me? Questioned Luna, Deidara nodded.

"Sure you just go get the film" replied Deidara going to stir the gravy.

"Thank you Deidara-Sama" Thanked Luna as she ran off to her room to fetch the Dvd's. Two minutes later Luna walked back in the room with two Dvd's in hand and gave then to Deidara and went back to getting dinner ready. Deidara looked at the cover of the Dvd's.

"Car's and The Digimon Movie" Said Deidara looking at both not quiet sure which to pick.

"I can't pick" Said Deidara giving both Dvd's scrutinizing looks. Itachi sighed again and finally rose from his seat grabbed both Dvd's from Deidara with a little protest from Deidara and walked over to where the toddler were.

"Shadow, Aya come over here" Said Itachi as the two ran over to Itachi.

"What the matter daddy?" Questioned Shadow who jumped and wiggled over on the sofa and sat next to her dad and Aya stood in front of Itachi. Itachi picked up both the Dvd's in separate hands.

"Which Dvd would you like to watch tonight before you go to sleep" Questioned Itachi watching the kids reactions to both Dvd's.

"Hmm I like the look of the cars one but That Digi one look really coolie" Said Shadow pointing to The Digimon Movie.

"I guess if Shadow want's to then so do I" Said Aya also pointing to the Digimon movie.

"Are you sure" Questioned Itachi and both kids nodded, Itachi rose then walked over to Deidara.

"There watching this one" Said Itachi and put The Digimon Movie down on the table.

"So what about the other movie?" Questioned Deidara looking up at Itachi as he went over to the cabinet and place it on top.

"We'll keep it for another time" replied Itachi who then looked at the clock.

"It's quarter to four now you let Aya have a bath now and We'll go after and dinner should be done just after" Declared Itachi getting a confirming nod from Luna that dinner would be ready about then.

"Ok then, Aya common where gonna take a bath early so we can watch a film later" Said Deidara and Aya put down the car and ran to her dad who picked her up and they walked out of the room.

30 minutes later both toddler had a baths and were sat in there seats in their pajamas. Aya's were silk, button up, with long sleeve while Shadow wore a dark blue onzie with the Uchiha symbol all over it and were both sat on their seats next to there dad's on the other side of Aya was Sasori and the other side of Shadow was Konan. Luna had just finished putting all the food out before everyone decided to tuck in. The oder went Pein then on side of him was Konan then Shadow, Itachi, Hidan, Kisame then the other hear of the table was Zetzu then the other side of him was Kakuzu, Deidara, Aya,Sasori then Tobi.

Itachi put Shadow a little food on her plate and Deidara put a little more on Aya's. Everyone was eating happily and Itachi decided to make an announcement

"Shadow and Aya are going to watch a movie after this before they go to bed so, I don't want anyone distracting them or any loud noises" announced Itachi glaring at Hidan and Tobi mostly. Tobi's face brightened up at the word movie.

"What movie are they watching!" Said Tobi really excitedly

"Were watching The Digimon Movie" Said Shadow trying to cut up some roast beef, Itachi got the knife off Shadow and cut up all her meat before going back to his own food.

"Can Tobi watch too?" Tobi asked sat at the table but never eat anything, Luna always left him a plate off food to microwave when he felt like it.

"Only if Tobi behave's" Said Itachi surprizing the rest of the Akatsuki that he agreed but after what happened at the supermarket, he didn't want to got thought that again. Tobi jumped up and down in his seat .

"Yay Tobi gets to watch a movie with Shadow and Aya!" Joyed Tobi

After Dinner and after Luna had cleaned things up, Aya was lying down with Deidara while Shadow was sat on Itachi's knee with both holding a blanket while Tobi sat crossed legged on the living room floor. The movie was very good in Itachi's opinion. It had Action, no swearing or too much violence and was funny not that Itachi laugh but Shadow, Aya, Deidara and Tobi did. The movie had finally finished and Aya had feel sleep about 10 minutes before the end and Shadow had just gone.

Itachi scoped up Shadow and took her to her room and so did Deidara and put them both to bed and they walked back into the living room and sighed.

"I can't belive it that movie was quiet good wouldn't you say Itachi" Said Deidara as he threw Itachi a can of fosters and grab one for himself out the fridge. Tobi was asleep on the floor like a starfish.

"I can't believe it worked at all " Replied Itachi taking a sip out of his drink. Hidan walked into the room.

"So the movie finished and there asleep?" Questioned Hidan and got a grunt in reply for Itachi and a yep from Deidara. Hidan walked over to the fridge but on his way wacked his little toe on the side of the counter making it bleed.

"ARHHH YOU MOTHER F*CKING B*TCH!" Shouted Hidan as he tried to make his toe stop bleeding.

"Hidan stop shouting..You'll wake up the-"Itachi Started to glare at Hidan but never got to finnish it because the door cracked open and a very tied looking Aya and Shadow stood their both rubbing there eyes and holding there blankets

"kids" Itachi finished as Aya ran over to Deidara who groaned and put her on his lap and Shadow came over and sat back on Itachi's knee.

"I spoke to soon" Said Itachi to Deidara and glared over to Hidan who was putting a plaster over his toe. flinching a little from Itachi's glare.

"At least Tobi didn't wake" Joke Deidara trying to lighten the mood a little only to get a glare sent his way by Itachi.

So at about 12:30 that night Aya and Shadow finally went to sleep but this time Itachi and Deidara where with them they had ended up falling to sleep on the sofas together...

It was about 13:45 and Tobi woke up to see Itachi sleeping with Shadow and Deidara and Aya doing the same thing but what caught Tobi's eye was a shiny blue can near the sofa that Itachi was on and well Toni wanted to know what it was so he crawled over there trying not to make too much noise and picked it up, smelt it then sipped a little.

"Hmm this is nice" Said Tobi to himself as he drank more when he had finished that one he looked around for more and saw some by Deidara and went and got it.

"Hm Deidara-Sensie won't mind me drinking this hehehehehe he's asleep" Said Tobi as he drank the whole lot, then decided to go on a search for some more he opened a few draws and cabinet's until he found boxes off the stuff and started to drink it all.

Half and hour later the whole Akatsuki were woke by a drunken Tobi shouting anything and running around like a madman worse than he did before.

The Akatsuki learned three things last night

1.) The Digimon Movie is really good movie.

2.) Hidan most be kept well away from the Kids when they sleep and sharp corners

3.) Never ever let Tobi anywhere near alcohol again!

As for Tobi well he wasn't so preppy in the morning as he spent most of his time in the bathroom throwing up and he really didn't won't to leave either since there was a hell of a lot of grouchy Akatsuki member that day and there were out for blood.


End file.
